Only Six Degrees Of Separation?

in small towns, everybody knows everybody else; that’s what everybody says. brunei is not exactly a small town… more like a small country. so i thought, perhaps, the rule might not apply… at least not quite so literally.

of course, like almost everything else in my belief system, i was proven wrong once again.

a couple of days ago, my buddy terrence asked, “wanna meet new people?”. so i met this bunch of people, one of whom was talking incessantly about “jo”. from what i gathered, she just broke up with this girl, and was bitter about getting dumped. fair enough. then came “josephine” from “KB” who was “bisexual”. wait a minute… JOSEPHINE? HURRICANE JOSEPHINE WHO TURNED MY BEST-EST COUSIN’S WORLD UPSIDE DOWN?!?

just like that, i found myself walking down memory lane, remembering all those months of hell when fred dated her. he would be down in a dump after being belittled for his hair or fashion sense or job or personality or socks. and i would pick him up only to have her crush his self-worth the next day, if not the next minute via the ever-popular SMS.

then came the realisation that in the midst of her lies, including her supposed new zealander accent and a degree in rocket science, she did tell one truth. she really was bisexual. damn!

fast forward an hour, and i was outside the cafe smoking with terrence and he said, “do you know your new friend is not your new friend? you added her on facebook a few weeks ago.”

i did? but why would a facebook whore like me add a stranger? i mean, i only have 299 friends to date and about 97% of them are not my friends in real life. who does that, right?

so came this epiphany. in a country as small as brunei, there’s no such thing as six degrees of separation. “it’s more like two, ” said terrence.

and he was not wrong… for all we know, you could be my uncle’s best friend’s cousin’s daughter’s boyfriend’s sister…

p/s: miss jo’s real name has been changed, given the risk of her stumbling upon this blog. and she’s not a rocket scientist, either. that was exaggerated solely for dramatic effect.

Click The Clique

i don’t know if it’s the alignment of the planets being a bit off; a lot of my friends are questioning: “who are my real friends?” and with that, reshuffling of their social circles. and it’s all done in an impressively systematic manner. do you we still share the same life goal? do we have similar opinions about people in general? do you like the same food? are we all cat people?

watching people cross out the unqualified is fun, until you realise your name has been crossed out too.

the problem with cliques, which occur among girls more than guys, is there is no explanation, no warning. by the time it hits you, they have long found a replacement.

so, while everyone is busy weeding out those no longer fit for “our group”, i’m finding myself a solitary hobby

You Can Run, But You Can’t Hide

a week ago, my lady boss told us that there was an outbreak in the office. i didn’t think much about it, cos the word “outbreak” suggests dozens of people being violently ill. since only three of my colleagues were on one-week sick leave, i decided to carry on with my extremely unhealthy lifestyle – chain smoking, refusing to sleep, putting off exercising.

then came two days ago. as soon as i reached the workplace, my friend jul screamed, “what happened to you? you look like shit.”

but i always look like shit. so i ignored her, though in hindsight, she was probably trying to tell me something.

an hour later, and more comments on how i looked like i was dying, it finally hit me: i was the latest casualty of the office outbreak

Fear Itself

horror movies make me laugh; cemeteries are as scary as parking lots. so, technically i’m fearless, right?

errr… no.

you see, supernatural beings are not frightening if you don’t believe. as a non-believer, it naturally doesn’t bother me. but heights… *ahem* HEIGHTS ARE DIFFERENT. and we’re not talking about a skyscraper here; more like two floors above the ground.

i went to singapore with my bro last year, and we checked into this room which was on the 11th floor. as soon as we stepped in, i caught a glimpse of the windows and i could only imagine how frightening it must be to look down. i didn’t sleep for five days; i made stupid excuses to go to 7-eleven throughout the night, like it was the best-est store on the entire island; i opted to sleep in the bathtub only because it was the furthest from the windows. i would have taken the closet too, but it was too dusty.

five years ago, my cousin conned me into taking the giant drop at jerudong park. to these days, i still refuse to talk to him. i’ve had recurrent dreams of that fateful night. unless he’s willing to cough up money for therapy, we ain’t friends.

my friends are always saying, “try bungee jumping. or maybe skydiving? conquer that phobia of yours already.” but unless they forced me at gunpoint… wait… forget it. just shoot me instead

Click, Click, Click

maybe there’s a significance to july; maybe it’s just me. but every year, at the end of june, i feel the need to change, like a good spring cleaning of my life. this time last year, it was kissing singledom goodbye. this year, it’s photography.

well, okay… the interest didn’t pop outta nowhere. i’ve been flirting with the idea for… five years? oh well, now that i have a hand-me-down-canon 350D-from-brother-dearest, i’m ready to snap away

no, no, no. don’t expect anything spectacular anytime between now and 2056. we all have limitations, and art is mine. then there’s photoshop, which is another roadblock. even this new wordpress dashboard had got me so confused, it took me months to figure out how to get around it.

but if july is the month of changes, then photography *has* to stay ;P

p/s: the pic was a sad attempt at earning a spot in the world of photography…

How Do You Criticise Awareness?

“stuff white people like” is one of those rare gems on the blogosphere. at first glance, it seemed to be a racist site that served to attack the white; it’s really not. if anything, it’s founder christian lander’s way of poking fun at his own kind – like russell peters does the indian – and entertains the masses in the process.

among my faves are: #28 not having a tv, which advises us to “NEVER suggest they are making a mistake or that there is a value to owning a TV”; #18 awareness, which points out that “white people… firmly believe that all of the world’s problems can be solved through ‘awareness’”, allowing them “to feel that sweet self-satisfaction without actually having to solve anything or face any difficult challenges”; and #1 coffee, which “white guys will.. call… anything but coffee”, but rather “rocket fuel”, “java”, “joe”, and “black gold”.

lander also suggests that if “a white person shows up in your country, you can make them feel fantastic by saying how you’ve never seen a white person before, and that you are amazed by their iPod… They might give it to you, then you can sell it for profit. Repeat as necessary”.

seems tricky, but worth a try, eh?

Days Of Our Lives

my best friend asked a few days ago if i still blogged. i was just about to say i was busy when i realised that it was such a lazy answer for a supposedly busy person. what have you been up to? i’ve been busy. can you pass me the coffee, please? i’m busy. what’s your number? too busy to think.

as i’m writing this, i’m soooooo tempted to end this entry right here because i have – at least i’m sure i do have – other things to do.

the truth, however, is far sadder. other than the three-four hours of work a day (i know, i know), my life is jam-packed with meaningless activities, such as entertaining facebook stalkers and talking to myself. hanging with friends is on the “productive” side of spectrum. watching tv is on “neutral”, along with feeding the cats and shopping.

to say i’m wasting my life away is an understatement. but to think up a resolution is too dramatic. or is it not?

whatever it is, i’ll deal with it tomorrow, for i’m a little too busy right now.

Guy & Girl Falling Slowly

i know, i know. it was released in 2006. but i’ve been living under a rock, astro-deprived and all. so, i only got to watch it a week ago.

what makes the otherwise overly-simple movie stand out, for me, is the musical nature of it. maybe i’ve been plagued by the whole life-imitate-art epidemic. i’d like to believe that there’s a song to every crisis situation i’ve been in, though some instances are a tad tricky, such as the anger and disappointment i felt when my favourite dog destroyed my favourite, limited-edition nike sneakers. i bet if there were a song for that, i wouldn’t have cried as much as i did.

while the best known song in the movie is “falling slowly”, i find “say it to me now” more interesting, perhaps due to the less common open e tuning.

and if you, little miss trouble, is reading this, you might find comfort in the song

and i’m trying hard to work it out. and so much has gone misunderstood. this mystery only leads to doubt. and i’m looking for a sign. in this dark uneasy time. so if you have something to say. say it to me now…

Ready For AI?

i’ve never been *that* big a fan of american idol. but seeing some of the contestants play instruments during the hollywood auditions was refreshing. maybe i’m ignorant, but i had always thought these songbirds dedicated their time to singing alone.

anyway, i can’t wait for the top 24 showdown. my faves: brooke white, carly smithson and michael johns

He Says, She Says

i recently met with a friend who got kicked out of his band a couple of years ago. his take on what went wrong? the leader “chose the lead singer over me”. while i enjoyed the bitching session, i had to hold my tongue for one reason and one reason only: i knew the leader attributed the break-up to my friend’s inability to deal with the lead singer.

he says, “according to him, i had no talent!”

and he says, “do you know he has no talent?!?”

he says, “he can’t write even if his life depends on it.”

and he says, “he can’t write even if his life depends on it.”

who’s telling the truth? who’s blowing things out of proportion? who knows….