Only Six Degrees Of Separation?

in small towns, everybody knows everybody else; that’s what everybody says. brunei is not exactly a small town… more like a small country. so i thought, perhaps, the rule might not apply… at least not quite so literally.

of course, like almost everything else in my belief system, i was proven wrong once again.

a couple of days ago, my buddy terrence asked, “wanna meet new people?”. so i met this bunch of people, one of whom was talking incessantly about “jo”. from what i gathered, she just broke up with this girl, and was bitter about getting dumped. fair enough. then came “josephine” from “KB” who was “bisexual”. wait a minute… JOSEPHINE? HURRICANE JOSEPHINE WHO TURNED MY BEST-EST COUSIN’S WORLD UPSIDE DOWN?!?

just like that, i found myself walking down memory lane, remembering all those months of hell when fred dated her. he would be down in a dump after being belittled for his hair or fashion sense or job or personality or socks. and i would pick him up only to have her crush his self-worth the next day, if not the next minute via the ever-popular SMS.

then came the realisation that in the midst of her lies, including her supposed new zealander accent and a degree in rocket science, she did tell one truth. she really was bisexual. damn!

fast forward an hour, and i was outside the cafe smoking with terrence and he said, “do you know your new friend is not your new friend? you added her on facebook a few weeks ago.”

i did? but why would a facebook whore like me add a stranger? i mean, i only have 299 friends to date and about 97% of them are not my friends in real life. who does that, right?

so came this epiphany. in a country as small as brunei, there’s no such thing as six degrees of separation. “it’s more like two, ” said terrence.

and he was not wrong… for all we know, you could be my uncle’s best friend’s cousin’s daughter’s boyfriend’s sister…

p/s: miss jo’s real name has been changed, given the risk of her stumbling upon this blog. and she’s not a rocket scientist, either. that was exaggerated solely for dramatic effect.

Remember Pusat Ehsan?

i just finished watching borgkingkong’s tribute video to pusat ehsan and man, was it a touching clip. it makes me feel like crap to know that there are individuals out there who need our help but i have been spending my money on shoes and clothes and more shoes. if each of us could donate $10 per month for the centre, it would be able to afford more staff, therefore offering a better programme for the special children.

i guess i now know where some of my ang pow money is going…

I’ll Post This Before…

… i get booted out by my bro’s router for the 23th time tonight.

i called telbru to complain about my modem, which hasn’t been working since last monday. it’s been almost a week, and still no sign of the technician. oh dear me…

Going Meatless Amid Ayamku Frenzy

yes, i’m a vegetarian and have been for the past five years.

the reason? a bad, bad dream.

soon after the nightmare, which i don’t remember anymore,  i told my family that i would no longer eat meat. at first, they took it lightly. after all, i had made strange announcements before, such as “i will leave for london tomorrow and join the anti-war protest” and “i’ve found my calling; i have to save the world from coke cans”.

so, my mom decided to play along until she found books on vegetarism on the mail a few weeks later. suddenly, it wasn’t funny anymore. then, there was speculation that her only daughter had joined a cult.

fast forward those crazy years of protesting that “there’s no such thing as a vegetarian church of satan, mom”, i’ve reached THE year. unless i had been a vegetarian my whole life, or had not once affectionately called chicken “my soul food”,  the fifth year wouldn’t be much of a big deal.

year 5 is the time when most converts like me relapse. year 5 is when we think obsessively about that old familiar taste of KFC, beef burger, fish, steak, steak and steak.

to keep me from relapsing, i have found the perfect getaway: linda mccartney shepherd’s pie. it’s sold at supasave beribi and it’s “supa” expensive ($6.30). but it’s so tasty that it makes me forget momentarily my craving for chicken wings.  so, kudos to supasave. you guys sure cater to us veggie converts

Brunei For Dummies

If you’re looking for information on Brunei Darussalam, you’ve come to the wrong place. Not only am I not at all fluent – though trying very, very hard to speak – in the national language, Malay, I didn’t even know 84.245834% of the tourist attractions in the country… until two days ago.

To say I intentionally researched into the local tourism industry will be downright dishonest on my part. As a sub-editor, not only do I have to edit news stories every day, I’m also given one to two articles each year to go through for the yearbook. This year’s topics: tourism and insurance.

So, when I received the tourism piece from the reporters, I was dumbfounded. Eight pages long? Really? As I went through the list, I was feeling increasingly embarassed. Where have I been all these years? Living under a rock?

Oil and Gas Discovery Centre. Never been there.

Tasek Merimbun. Is that in Tutong or Belait?

Sultan Omar Ali Saifuddien Mosque. Err… I’ve seen it dozens of times while I’m shopping at Yayasan…

Wasai Kandal. ???

Ulu Temburong National Park. I planned on going there; that’s gotta count for something, right?

Err… maybe not.

So, instead of asking for a week off work to tour Brunei, I have decided on a more doable resolution: I must not flash my yellow IC like a badge of honour until I quit saying “malas ku ingau” whenever someone asks why I can’t speak Malay; and instead reply, “me salah”.

Parallel Universe

these pix were taken at coffee zone gadong on the second day of raya. my cousin and i were the only non-white patrons that day. the only clue that we were still in brunei were the people outside the cafe. it was one of those rare moments when i feel like a foreigner at home.